Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Please Join Us At Our NEW BLOG SITE!!

We have NOT gone AWAY!! We've just moved!! Please join us at our new location! : )

Monday, May 7, 2007

Clay Aiken: Please Contact Your OFC....AGAIN.

Well, the OFC is screwing up once again. Wait...maybe it's not a screw-up. Maybe it's intentional. Guess there is really no way of knowing.

This is what is promised when one joins the OFC:

Members Only Chat Room
More personal blogs from Clay
New voice messages from Clay
Cool contests with exclusive prizes
New Wallpapers and Buddy Icons
Opportunity to buy concert tickets first and attend meet & greets*

It is being reported that members of OFC who are trying to exercise their option to buy preferred tickets as promised to them when they joined OFC are unable to do so UNLESS THEY PURCHASE ANOTHER FAN CLUB MEMBERSHIP.

If this was the first time OFC screwed up or failed to deliver, it could possibly be excused, but OFC has a history of not delivering what is promised when one signs up for membership.

Right before ATDW was released, it was time for OFC renewal. Some who attempted to join or renew were charged multiple times for their membership fees and the package including the t-shirt, photo, membership cards weren't delivered to them til many months later, if at all.

The OFC also promises: "More personal blogs from Clay". That's been bullshit, hasn't it? The
"personal blogs from Clay" have been few and far between and are often either pleas for money or complete nonsense as with his "Scandal 2007" blog and his most recent blogs about the television show "Jericho". I'm just guessing here, but when people signed up for blogs, they were probably hoping to hear about Clay's career and maybe an occasional acknowlegment of how they come through for him time and time again. They might have wanted to know how the gala did or about Clay's travels in Afghanistan. They might have wanted a "thank you" for exceeding Clay's fund raising challenge. Instead they get blogs about "Jericho" that are either self serving on Clay's part, or mocking Claymate behavior.

The blame for the content and the infrequency of the blogs lies entirely with Clay Aiken.

Then there was the false tour info posted on OFC. You would think the official fan club would be able to provide accurate tour information, but there were Claymates who made travel arrangements based on what they saw posted on OFC. Since one pays for the privilege of receiving the information that OFC posts, one would suppose that they could trust that information. Now it is known that the info posted at OFC can't be trusted.

Recently, this was posted on our blog by someone who seems to have credible insight as to how Clay and Faye think. Note the bolded parts.

Frances and Faye on seperate occassions both were bitching about Kristy's inability to raise any funds and tht pretty soon ll the money FSL raised for them would be gone. Since some of wht she raised can only be used for a specific project, the operating expenses have eaten into money they have that is not commioted to a project (like State Farm project can't be used for anything but that project and the federal grant money is limited too) Faye and Frances were bitching because Diane sided with Kristy and talked Faiken into hiring an outside fund raiser for something like ten months. The cost was around $3500 a month and Frances and Faye thought it was a huge waste of money and that the foundation should just raise funds off the fans and forget about corporations etc. The accepatance of the Presidential Appointment was at Kristy's urging since the fund raiser needed something to work with and since FSL got them to agree to keep the appointment open he could go in and take it and use it for visibility. Faye and Frances were really pissed at Diane for going around their back with Kristy to Faiken. (this may have been the gasoline on the fire between Faye and Kristy cuz how dare Kristy go against Faye!!!) Anyway, not sure how that fund raiser guy worked out or how long he stayed. Didn't produce anything that anyone can tell and no mention of his involvement with the gala.Faye thought that any money they had to pay this guy should come out of Kristy's salary. kristy claimed she had so much work to do with so many projects to manage that she couldn't possibly add fund raising to her list!!! Frances and Faye made comments that suggested they knew how to do everything and Kristy knew nothing. They did not want to hire anyone and did not want to py anyone. Faye basically said the fans will pay everything that is needed so why hire someone to fundraise when the fans willsupply all the money. One person thought the guys contract was up in january. Faye was very negative and smirked at Kristy's claim that she is so busy with so many projects (guess approving fan fundraisers is alot of work.) anonymous 05.02.07 - 8:41 pm #

Taking the bolded comments above along with the way that OFC is being run, and ulitmately the OFC is run by Clay Aiken, it would seem that the thinking is that the fans are there to be milked like animals.

The problem with continual milking is that unless there is some food or nourishment on a regular basis, the milk will dry up.

The same goes for Clay Aiken's fandom. They are being taken for granted, given NOTHING and unless that changes, it's going to continue to dry up, and rightfully so.

What are OFC members paying for again?

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Clay Aiken : His New Blog

(click on picture to enlarge and read)

Clay Aiken blogged tonight for the first time since his UNICEF trip to Afghanistan.

Clay did not mention the fundraising challenge that he issued, pictured above.

Clay did not thank his Claymates for their generosity in helping him exceed his challenge.

Clay did not share anything about his travels.

Instead, Clay Aiken once again sounded like he is in a manic episode or perhaps under some kind of mind altering influence.

He is either OPENLY mocking his fans, who are the ones who make him appear to be a successful humanitarian and entertainer, or he has truly lost his mind.

Here is the blog:

05/01/07 : Holy Les Moonves, Batman!!If EVER there was a time to act, The time is NOW.

No I am not talking about UNICEF or Bubel/Aiken.I'm not talking about summer camps or Afghanistan. I am talking about Jericho.

Okay folks.. listen here...
It is SWEEPS month. Sweeps started last Thursday and this episode on Jericho tonight on CBS will be the first episode that has been aired in this ratings period... Mary, Quiana, and I need your help!!!! I honestly don't know what I will do with myself if this show doesn't make it on to the CBS lineup next season!!!

I want to be on the show! I will play a bad guy, a good guy, a mute guy, a singing guy... I don't care!!!

But this how NEEDS to be back next season.

Now the fervor of OFC members is unmatched, and yes this is sorta a selfish request on my part, but we all have to band together this week and next and put Jericho on the top of the ratings!

Watch it in very room of your house. Then go next door and make the neighbors watch it. Then go down the street and make the folks in the retirement home watch it. If you live near a hospital, they have lots of TVs. Make the patients watch it! I don't care how you do it we need as many TVs tuned to this masterpiece of suspenseful entertainment as humanly possible!

Write your Senators. Write your assemblymen. Write Santa Claus.

Make magic happen!!!

Love you all!!


Current Mood: Excited

Friday, April 27, 2007

Clay Aiken Throws Pissy Diva Fit Over AI Gives Back Snub

There had been a lot of speculation about whether Clay Aiken would try to worm himself into a spot on this weeks "American Idol Gives Back" fundraising event .

Clay Aiken had been hanging around LA all last week and now it seems apparent why.

He wanted on the AI Gives Back event....very badly. So badly, in fact, that he was willing to blow off a charity event in NY where he was to be receiving an award.

BUT good judgement by those organizing AI gives back prevailed and Clay was not part of the show, prompting widdle Cwaybie to throw a pissy diva fit and high tail it to NY to receive his award and appear on the Today Show in what seemed to be a very hastily arranged interview. Guess he was just determined to get his round little mug on television SOMEWHERE this week.

The inside story is below from one of the posters here. Thanks to them for the details on how it went down. It's good insight to what Clay Aiken REALLY thinks about his "charitable" efforts.

Checking in. I did find out some info that is interesting and it ties into this award thingy the Faiken got.

I am sorry but I am laughing typing this cuz it is just so him...I asked my friend if he could relay any additional info (he told me he had to be a little careful because there were only a few of them privvy to the Faiken blitz and he doesn't want to out himself as being my source!!)I asked him if he knew anything about an award show or an award Faiken was getting in New York and WITHOUT HEISTATION he said;"Oh, ya meant the thing (F)aiken said he didn't care about and would miss if he could get on the show live???That award?" so I confirmed with him what it was but here is what he said...."we thought the guy was such a joke, making a commitment to do something for charity but willing to bail on it for something bigger for HIM.

That was the opposite attitude of the Idol project."I am parapharsing here now: he said that Faiken was told he should go to the event and that is when the big ass push to shove any and all pieces of tape down the Idol producer's throats began.

If he couldn't be on the show live guess Faiken thought they could use some of his tape or would tape him making a plea which apparently why he stayed in Los Angeles up to the last minute.

No bites for him tho except the one on his ass and knowing Faiken, he liked it!

Don't have a clue when he flew out and my friend didn't know either just that he left in a great big pissy diva huff!!!!!

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Idol Gives Back Kicks Off Tonight!

Well, tonight kicks off what will probably be an extraordinary television event.
It will be interesting to see if Clay Aiken manages to worm his way onto the show.
Who knows? He may be crying in the AI parking lot right now!
Let's have fun and discuss the shows!

Monday, April 23, 2007

This is NOT a Clay Aiken Hatred Blog

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I got up real early this morning mainly because I wanted to “catch” the skank that likes to spam the site at 5AM and I wasn’t disappointed. There it was, a good bit of spamming about the latest accusation about this blog being “sympathizers” of Seung Cho, the severely mentally impaired VT student who cruelly snuffed the life off students that were in the path of becoming successful adults in life. Do I applaud what he did? Of course I don’t. Do I sympathize with him? Not in the sense of approval for his actions, but in the sense that I understand that a human being in their right frame of mind would NEVER have done what Cho did. Many of us are involved with mental disorders in various ways, and clearly understand how disabilities stem from them, so I can see how what happened at VT although not the norm, couldn’t have been prevented given the legal constraints that kept VT for being able to provide further help to Cho.

I can’t speak for all the posters at Clay Aiken Fraud Squad, but many do share the same opinion concerning the VT tragedy; it was a tragic act of violence perpetrated by a severely mentally impaired individual and it deserves looking more into depth as to the overlaying issues concerning mental health in the educational system and how this tragic incident will help in the avoidance of future acts such as this one. If believing that and criticizing a Special Ed major for speaking so ignorantly about a mentally incapacitated individual is hatred to those who do not approve of this blog so be it, but I KNOW hatred is not where my criticizing or others postings here is coming from. Nobody wants Faiken to mourn Cho and I’m sure none of us mourn him for the act, but I mourn for the mentally incapacitated individual that fell through so many cracks that it caused innocent victims to be dragged down with him. I MOURN THAT! And I’m very disappointed that someone who’s allegedly so compassionate and understanding, would chose a poor statement to refer to one of those whom he’s supposed to be an advocate for. THAT IS NOT HATRED, that is pointing out the INCONSISTENCIES and hypocrisy that coats every word coming out of his mouth.

What you call hatred when we criticize Faiken is nothing but the spoken truth, and because we don't have any problem expressing our opinions which are not all filled with rainbows, butterflies and skittles, you label it as hatred. Those posting here are not blinded by fandom or by a CULT mentality. They are not parroting what a leader tells them to believe. They are only expressing what is obvious to many except to his cult followers.

It’s not about his sexuality because we KNOW he's gay and it's never been an issue. The issue on the other hand, is the blatant deception, manipulation and hypocrisy of an artist who uses his fans and what seems to be a respectable organization such as UNICEF for his own selfish reasons. Speaking about it is not hatred as you put it and as mats like to spin it. If you don’t like it or don’t want us to exercise our freedom of speech it’s your problem, but us being able to express our opinions IS NOT hatred. I personally don’t hate the Faiken, but I don’t have to remain silent about what I consider to be deceptive behavior.

Hatred is what the claymates do by harassing, stalking and going personally after those who dare speak the truth about Faiken. Hatred is calling us Seung Cho sympathizers because we acknowledge the fact he was mentally ill and that Faiken should have used the opportunity during the ET interview to point out how the mental health system is flawed as evidenced by how Cho’s case was handled and how schools struggle in dealing with cases such as his. In Cho’s case privacy laws prevented VT from being able to do more to help him. The point is he could have talked about how this case should be used as a stepping stone in bringing awareness to a serious situation that affects thousand of children and young adults and the schools systems which struggle in determining what should be the scope of their intervention.

THAT’S what we talk about here and if Faiken OR his fans don’t want anyone to talk about him, he shouldn’t elevate himself to the level of role model or be in the public eye at all. If he's bold enough to point fingers at others, you shouldn't find it so strange or appalling that he will be held up to the standard he set for himself and certainly DON'T call it hatred because it is NOT!

Sunday, April 15, 2007

The Children of Claymates Need Our Help

This is the latest cause of the Clay Aiken Fraud Squad:

"We are children that range in age from infants to teenagers. Some nights we go to bed hungry. Most nights we go to bed without a parent to tuck us in or listen to our most secret thoughts and wishes. Nearly every day our mothers yell at us; sometimes they even hit us. We want to grow up to be productive citizens, but there is no money to send us to college. Who can we turn to for help? We need the advice of a parent, but so often our mothers are not at home.Won't you please help us? We are the children of Claymates. We go to bed hungry because Mom spent the grocery money to get a signed UNICEF report from Clay Aiken. Our mothers can't tuck us in because they are busy writing on the Clay Aiken message boards. If we tell our mothers that we don't like Clay, they yell at us. Sometimes they hit us. Our college fund was spent to buy a "table" at the BAF gala. There is no one to talk to about this, because our mothers are usually following Clay around on a tour. We are the children of the "Claynation" and we need your help.

Even when we're grown up, our Claymate Mom's love Clay Aiken more than us. Like this:

Registered Member
Posts: 508
(4/30/07 12:26 pm)
Reply Re: Others whose lives Clay has touched
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
Alice, I'm glad that you have come out of your shell to post. Know that you are loved here, this is a place where you can come and just get things off your chest, and know of Clay's beauty and love for all his fans. Whether one is perfect, has defects and flaws, abled or disabled; we are all loved by Clay. We feel his love and he feels ours. He has taught me to take my sorrows and unhappiness of my past life and turn in into a positive, giving of myself to others. I have this quote on my computer that I read every day from Clay.

"Pain hapens to everyone. To grow up, to fulfill your potential, to develop into that God wants you to be--this process takes support. No one succeeds alone."

Alice, you have our support, we are here for you. I found that out by coming out of my shell a long time ago and now I know that because of Clay, I have made some wonderful friends here that are "family" to me. It can happen to you. We welcome you, you are loved here. Your loved ones are in a better place now where no harm will ever come to them. They watch over you.

Question: How much of a part did Clay's momma, Faye and his grandparents have in Clay being the person that he is?

I know in my heart, I've been both mother and father to my son and gave 110% of teaching, guiding, Catholic Education, Ivy League Degree and yet he does not have any of the qualities that I admire in Clay Aiken. I've always encouraged him to be "the best that he can be" and yet he goes thru this life as a "hippy of the '60s". Where did I go wrong? I LOVE HIM AND WOULD GIVE MY LIFE FOR HIM . . . but . . . I don't like him as a person. All the things that I instilled in him that was instilled in me as a child: "integrity, humility, respect, compassion" isn't there. Everything is ME, ME, ME and he thinks he doesn't have to work hard to achieve in life. Believe me, I never spoiled him. He was the last to get the latest fad. When a new fad came out, I was just buying the previous fad. His teacher complained that he was applying himself in school. I suggested that maybe he should be in a lower level (this was in grade school) because he was in the highest level. She told me that no, that wasn't the problem; he had the intelligence but HE WASN'T APPLYING HIMSELF. This continued thru high school . . . "he's not applying himself". Community college he had a 4.0 GPA in Math and Chemistry and when he was accepted at an Ivy League University to get his B.A., what did he do? He switched from Math and Chem to HISTORY. Oh, he can get jobs at the drop of a hat . . . MISTER PERSONALITY PLUS. But, as soon as someone, his boss, a co-worker says something he doesn't like, what does he do . . . HE QUITS. He is just so opposite of me and my values. He has friends galore, like I said he's MISTER PERSONALITY. He's everything that I was never good at and yet WHY IS HE SO DARN LAZY? He lives for today whereas I was always taught to prepare for tomorrow and the future. He does such things as when he get's benefits for his new job, he won't take the Medical Insurance. I tell him it is so important because even though you are okay now, what will happen if you get sick and do not have any medical insurance. His come back to me is: "if I die, I die . . . so be it". CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHERE DID I GO WRONG IN RAISING HIM? Here is a normal human being that is just p**sing his life away and then I read about all the children with Autism and how they fight to just be able to do the things that they can. THEY ARE THE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN. I don't see any disabilities with them, it's my son who has the disability and I can't save him from himself. So, I come here to have my self-esteem built up, to get back my humility for I do feel humiliated that I have a son that turned out so wrong and I BLAME MYSELF because I guess I loved him too much. "

Donate at our website: www.MomLovesClayBest.com. Please give, and give generously.

The "Passion" of the Clay.

Well, Clay Aiken is back from a UNICEF trip to Afghanistan.

There are now some pictures from his trip and as you will see above, Clay seemed to really pull out all of the stops for this particular photo op.

He did his best to strike a Jesus like pose with his clasped hands and his expression of suffering. He truly looks like the most distraught person in the picture. Hey, he might have really been suffering. There might not have been a McDonalds around, and he does appear to be in a roomful of mostly women.

He wrapped himself in sackcloth looking robes to further drive home the Christ like comparisons to his Claymates. Notice that the young Afghani male behind Clay is wearing a regular suit and is clean shaven and is looking at Clay as though he was a curiosity. Also notice that in the picture of Clay with a group of people outdoors, Clay is the ONLY man dressed in robes. The other Afghani men are in regular attire. Again, Clay is seen with his angsty, prayerful looking clasped hands. Some Claymates have tried to claim that Clay held his hands that way to greet people. He wasn't greeting anyone in this picture. I don't recall EVER seeing Clay hold his hands that way in the past. He seems to just be putting on a great big show. This whole UNICEF trip seems to have been a great big show. No surprise there. This IS Clay Aiken we are talking about.

Can we expect to see this new picture of Clay on prayer cards in funeral homes throughout the country? I'm sure we would if the Claymates had their way, but right now the Claymates are busy doing their best to make Clay Aiken look good by responding to his fund raising challenge which IMO, is one of the most blatant forms of manipulation he's resorted to yet, and shame on UNICEF for participating in it.

What else did the pained and holy Clay Aiken do while in Afghanistan? He lied about being a former teacher (but that's another blog), administered an oral polio vaccine, (perhaps now he can also refer to himself as a former medical professional) and informed the Afghani people that it is spring.

Thanks, Clay!

Saturday, April 14, 2007

I'm a Mat, Here's My Money

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See? Claymats are just that MATS. Clay wants this, Clay wants that and they all jump through hoops to accommodate him. What does HE do for them in return? Well, for starters there's certainly no consistency when it comes to the fan club membership promises made and when it comes to concerts they can't even put together a decent tour and give their fans accurate information concerning its details. Instead, the fans lose money booking flights, hotels, securing car rentals just to find out there's no such a concert confirmed and no explanations, apologies, not a peep from their master and leader about anything that requires at least a reassuring statement.

Now, if Clay needs something, he will surely blog on the spot and butter them up till they open their wallets at his will. The twisted part is that these women who are supposed to be highly intelligent and educated, can't (or refuse to) see how little respect he holds for them. All he sees in them are dollar signs and since these women seem not to have any self-respect, they are more than willing to relinquish their self pride and control in order to boost his overgrown ego. Unfortunately, their minds are so altered by the effects of the kool-aid, that all it takes is a word from their leader and they are willing to do WHATEVER it takes to makes his wishes come true.

His efforts in Afghanistan would have been better appreciated if they had not been attached to an agenda born out of his bitter resentment toward the American Idol machine. Clay Aiken hates to lose and so long as he remembers AI 2003 and its outcome, he will never let anyone forget it, but what he doesn't realize is that with the aid of his devoted goons he is making sure everyone sees how right America was in declaring him a LOSER. Thank you Clay Aiken and Claymats for allowing us to see the type of people you REALLY are and why we rejected YOU as an American Idol and your fans. NOTHING you can do now will EVER give you back a victory you didn't deserve. Too bad their money couldn't buy you the title.

You can manipulate your CULT followers, you can manipulate UNICEF, Diane Sawyer or anyone else into believing you're a decent human being, but those of us who know better will always recognize you as the fraud and fake persona you have created for yourself and your CULT followers. Be proud Mr. Aiken, be VERY proud.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Clay Aiken: Selling Himself To The Highest Bidders?

(click to enlarge and read the pictures)

Recent events have made it apparent that Clay Aiken seems to be courting and rewarding his Claymates that have the deepest pockets.

Indeed, a member of the ClayBoard recently posted the following:

windstar2 Admire and Respect OMCPosts: 12795(4/12/07 9:46 pm)Reply ezSupporter
Re: UNICEF Email from Clay
NO amount is to large or small!
True ... but with the larger amount you get more of a con.nec.tion to Clay and what touches his heart. And of course I would like that. Very nice of him to have such nice incentives but I can only give what I can give. I'm glad for those who can give the $1,000 though.
Edited by:
windstar2 at: 4/12/07 9:50 pm

This person would seem to be correct. Clay has been going out of his way to reward the people who cough up the most money. Check out the privileges money bought at his recent BAF Champions for Change Gala.

People paying $2500.00 for a seat at this gala were rewarded with attending a "special VIP reception with Clay" and an individual picture taken with Clay.

People paying $1000.00 for a seat at this gala were rewarded with attending a "special VIP reception with Clay" and a group picture taken with Clay.

People who paid $175.00 got dinner and admission to the show.

People who paid $100.00 got admission to the show.

Clay could have easily walked around during the dinner, stopping at the tables of people who spent $175.00 for the dinner for less than a minute, to thank them for coming and supporting the cause. He didn't.

The people who paid $100.00 got to see a 4 song show.

Apparently, Clay valued his Claymates that have deep pockets the most and they were rewarded with access to Clay.

At the auction that took place at this event, the Claymates with the money were able to scoop up the items offered leaving those with less money empty handed and possibly feeling undeservedly, a little bit bad about themselves and that they never had a chance at some items they might have treasured. It was not an even playing field.

Now Clay has come back from his Unicef trip to Afghanistan and has issued a challenge to his Claymates. He wants to raise $100,000.00 in 10 days to benefit Afghani children.

To inspire donations and to sweeten the deal for the Claymates with the deep pockets again, those who are able to donate $1000.00 or more will be rewarded with autographed copies of his report.

What does this say to the Claymates of lesser means? What if giving $20.00 for them is the equivalent of a richer Claymate's $1000.00? Are the fans with less money less important and less deserving to Clay Aiken than the fans who are more fortunate and have more money to spare?
That would seem to be the message that Clay is sending.

Those that have, receive. They receive access to Clay. They receive autographs from Clay.
Those that don't have, don't receive. They are barely acknowledged if at all.

How very charitable. Only not.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Clay Aiken: What Has He Ever "Given Back"?

Clay Aiken took a recent UNICEF trip to Afghanistan and is back and asking for money for Afghani children. That's all well and good, but what does Clay Aiken plan to do besides ask for money from others and take credit for it once it is raised? Clay has received so much positive PR from his association and photo ops with UNICEF, it's about time that he started to even the score by REALLY giving back.

Will Clay will be contributing some of his own money?

Will he offer to give a free fundraising concert?

Will he offer to match some funds?

Clay Aiken's Afghanistan Appeal: $100,000 in 10 days! "I've just returned from Afghanistan and see that the need is urgent. Let's aim high and work together to raise $100,000 in 10 days. Join me in standing with UNICEF to help these kids."

Clay Aiken's UNICEF page has been updated to include the following statement:

Clay Aiken was appointed U.S. Fund for UNICEF Ambassador in 2004. He is particularly committed to supporting UNICEF's education programs, and is truly "an Idol who gives back."

WHAT has Clay Aiken "given back" exactly? He has taken all of his UNICEF trips on UNICEF's dime, supposedly the only Goodwill Ambassador to do so.

What did he donate to the children of Lebanon?

What did he donate to the Tsunami victims?

What did he do for the children of Uganda, besides promising to compose a song to bring awareness to their plight, only to renege on that promise?

What is he going to donate to the children of Afghanistan?

What has he donated to BAF?

What has he ever given back?

Other celebrities, when moved by a people or an event. have opened up their hearts and wallets and donated astonishingly generous amounts of money.

All Clay Aiken seems capable of doing is garnering publicity for himself and asking OTHER people to donate money.

Clay claims to be moved by people and events, but not enough to ever open his own wallet or arrange for a benefit concert to bring awareness to his causes.

Clay visited an orphanage not long ago and commented in an interview about how he'd love to pay for a college education for one of the orphans.

What's stopping him?

Has his financial situation grown so dismal that he is incapable of contributing his own money to causes that "move" him?

Clay should try putting his money where his mouth is.

He loves and needs the print and the pictures portraying him as a humanitarian, but he falls very short of acting as a true humanitarian.

A true humanitarian doesn't want or need a special link to assure that they will get credit for money that OTHER PEOPLE donate.

A true humanitarian would never have done the following:

02:17 PM: CLAYMATES UNITE!!I've told my friends and colleagues at UNICEF just how motivated and supportive you all are. I tried to explain just how wonderful and driven you can be when it comes to supporting causes that are important, like the world's children.

To test my theory, they have set up a special link specifically for us to use to help out with the Lebanon crisis I talked about in my last blog.

They'll be monitoring this link to see just how great the Claymates can be.

If you aren't able to this time, it's absolutely cool.

Encourage those you know are able to use this link to donate.

If you are in a position to help UNICEF help the children affected by the crisis in Lebanon, do so by clicking HERE.

Let's show them what we're made of!!

Current mood: Excited Currently listening to: nothing


07/27/0603:47 PM: Having trouble?

For those of you having trouble....copy and paste this exact link into your browser's address bar.

This will take you to the same site as others use to donate to UNICEF, but it will also keep track of how much money is donated by fan club members and those who we tell to use this link.

So tell all of your friends to use this exact address instead of going to the address that this takes you to.

I, of course, get no credit for this. Nor would I want it.But I do look forward to continuing to have PROOF that you guys are the GREATEST fans in the world!!http://www.unicefusa.org/site/lookup.asp?c=duLRI8O0H&b=1859535&msource=0706LClay

Let the games begin!!

Current mood: Happy Currently listening to: nothing


07/28/0609:33 AM: Holy Moly!

You MUST be kidding me!!!

I am CONSTANTLY AMAZED by your fervor and your enthusiasm, to say nothing of your generosity.

I just got a call from about 15 people at the UNICEF office in NYC who were about to jump out of their skin with excitement!

They could not LOVE the Clay Nation any more!

Since mid afternoon yesterday, you guys alone have contributed $45,896.96 to UNICEF's work with the children in Lebanon!Unbelieveable!!

The Claymates' contributions make up 17% of the total monies raised for the Lebanon crisis!

They say it is absolutely unprecedented.I say "That's just how amazing my fans are!"

To give you an idea....$45,896.96 can buy:245 school-in-a-box kits with supplies to provide 19,628 children with schooling.or188 emergency health kits providing basic drugs, medical supplies, and equipment for 188,102 children for 3 months

Look at all the DIFFERENT WAYS that you guys are making a difference.

As the number rises, I'll keep you up-to-date!

Sometimes I wonder how I'd ever make it through this world without having you. I just wouldn't have a clue!(that was a specific hint for you... as a thank you! ;)

I love you guys!c


11:04 AM: End of day results

Here's the last update of the day as the UNICEF office closes at 2pm today.

$47,556.96that's 254 school-in-a-box kits serving 20,338 childrenor195 emergency health kits for 194,906 people for 3 months



07/31/0611:09 AM: WOW WOW WOW

New number - $66,723.12 (that's another $19,166.16since Friday'supdate)

that's 357 school-in-a-box kits serving 28,534children or 273 emergency health kits for 273,455 people for 3 months AMAZING! Really gives me chills at how astounding you guys are!Hopefully you'll have some left in you to buy your 7 copies... no... make that 8 copies of the album on September 19th!!

Official word comes in the next few hours!!


A true humanitarian is not self serving. A true humanitarian would not ask for credit. A true humanitarian would not ask of others without doing what they, themselves, could do.

Clay Aiken is a proven effective and manipulative fund raiser only because he has a fanbase of cultish sycophants to do his bidding, but he does not deserve to be referred to as "truly an Idol who gives back."

Again...WHAT has CLAY, himself, ever given back?

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Clay Aiken: If You See It On OFC You Can Believe It

Clay Aiken has often said "If you see it at OFC, you can believe it".

Here is some of what you are supposed to get when you pay your dues and join up at OFC.

Ultimate Membership - $29.99 + S/H

1-Year Fan Club Membership
Members Only Clay Aiken Official Fan Club T-Shirt
Exclusive Clay Aiken Official Fan Club Bracelet
8x10 photo
Official Membership Card
Welcome Letter From Clay
Fan Pack - $14.99 + TAX
Available NOW exclusively at Best buy stores nationwide!

1-Year Fan Club Membership
Exclusive Clay Aiken Official Fan Club Bracelet (Design of bracelet varies from Ultimate Membership)
Official Membership Card
Welcome Letter from Clay (Welcome Letter varies from Ultimate Membership)
Upgrade Option to Ultimate Membership
Fan Pack Upgrade - $16.00 + S/H
(You must successfully redeem your Best Buy code before you can upgrade.)
Members Only Clay Aiken Official Fan Club T-Shirt
8x10 photo
Exclusive Clay Aiken Official Fan Club Bracelet

Join the Clay Aiken Fan Club
What's New for Year 2?
Members Only Chat Room
More personal blogs from Clay
New voice messages from Clay
Cool contests with exclusive prizes
New Wallpapers and Buddy Icons
Opportunity to buy concert tickets first and attend meet & greets*

Even most Claymates, if they were to be honest would admit that this is all, for the most part, a joke and that this fan club is miserably mismanaged.

First, when renewing last year, credit cards were charged multiple times, debit cards also were charged multiple times, emptying bank accounts and leaving the card holders with bouncing checks.

When it came to receiving the merchandise that was purchased along with the membership, many members waited months upon months before receiving the packages, some still never have and getting answers and support from OFC is virtually impossible.

Clay Aiken has often said, "If you see it at OFC, you can believe it". One would think that this also applies to what Clay himself blogs.

Remember this blog?

It seems over the past few weeks, the tabloids and gossip mongers have had their hands full coming up with new and exciting "scandals" for me to be a part of. Yet, for all of their efforts to be on the "cutting edge" and the forefront of bull$#@& journalism, it seems that some of them may be running out of ideas and resorting to recycling and re-hashing some of their older tall tales. How sad!?
With this in mind, we thought maybe we would try to give them a finger.... er.. a hand.
For all of the contests that we hold here on the OFC, this one promises to be one of my favorites.Build-Your-Own-Scandal!That's right! Let's show off the creative abilities of the greatest group of fans on Earth.
The contest is simple, but will require some thinking and planning...
Come up with the most outlandish story you can that places me (either alone or with others close to me) in a really juicy/tawdry/scandalous/shameful story.
Then, use any photos, videos, audio clips of me that you can find along with your favorite multimedia enhancing/"doctoring" program (like a PhotoShop or a sound/video editor) to create your "evidence"!
Maybe you have "pictures" of me being "abducted by oversized turnips"... or ... "video" of me "dancing with a three legged gorilla". Be creative!
You'll submit your "story" and "evidence" to an address that you'll find online here at the OFC very soon.
I'll personally pick the "story" that not only is most creative, but has the most CONVINCING and REALISTIC looking "evidence"!(It obviously can't be that hard to come up with!)
The winner(s) will be featured here... PLUS... there will be a great prize to go along with the honor of being the creator of "Scandal 2007"
This one is gonna be fun!!
Feel free to get started thinking...but, keep your eye out for details on rules/requirements for entry and deadlines and prizes. they be announced here soon.
Happy Fabricating!!
Current Mood: Excited

Given that Clay himself said that "if you see it at OFC you can believe it", many in the fanbase took Clay at his word. Others thought it was a joke, but nobody knew for sure. Many prepared their entries to this contest, others thought it was a bad idea, there was angst and arguing among fans. They looked to the OFC for guidance, but there was none. Nobody there had a clue. It wasn't til months later that OFC had a statement that Clays blog was just "snark".

Maybe that was the first clue that Claymates should have had that "if you see it at OFC, you can believe it" wasn't necessarily true.

Now we come to Clay's summer "tour". Once again, the Claymates took Clay's words, "if you see it at OFC, you can believe it" to heart. When dates were announced and posted on OFC, people trusted that Clay's OFFICIAL FAN CLUB would have correct, confirmed information before disseminating it.

Based upon what the OFC posted, Claymates booked airline flights and hotels and made travel plans. They had no reason to doubt what OFC was posting because CLAY HIMSELF said "if you see it at OFC, you can believe it". Again, some did.

ClaysBabyDoll Registered MemberPosts: 16(3/14/07 6:08 pm)Reply
Re: JULY 7 - NOKIA THEATRE - DALLAS, TX (Grand Prairie)
I am so excited!!! Grand Prairie is only about 45 miles from my home!! I have a question - what is the procedure for buying pre-sale tickets for members of the OFC? I've never done this before and would like some information PUHLEEZE---THANKS!!! LOOK OUT - WEST PALM BEACH - my nephew is a Captain for American Airlines and he and his wife live in WPB. They have already told me they will fly me down there and buy my concert ticket!!!! I can hardly contain myself!!!I LOVE CLAY AIKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

topcat50 Registered MemberPosts: 1831(3/16/07 4:24 pm)Reply
Re: JULY 7 - NOKIA THEATRE - DALLAS, TX (Grand Prairie)
I just spoke with the box office and tix via TM go on sale on March 30.Hope there's an OFC presale for this!

fayclay Clay, Always and Forever.. Posts: 959(3/21/07 4:08 pm)Reply ezSupporter
Re: JULY 7 - NOKIA THEATRE - DALLAS, TX (Grand Prairie)
Does anyone know if the OFC will have pre-sale tickets?

Martigyrl This one's got me conflicted. I feel like I'm addicted.Posts: 2630(4/2/07 8:34 pm)Reply ezSupporter
I'm flying down to Grand Prairie for the concert, and can someone tell me if the Quality Inn Dallas Market Center hotel, is anywhere near the Nokia??? I haven't got a clue, never been to Texas before. I'd sure appreciate it if someone can let me know. I've already booked it all, but after looking it up again, it looks like I might have chosen the wrong Quality Inn. Thanks for anyone who can answer .

mskat63 Thudding in Texas for Clay!Posts: 685(3/30/07 11:26 pm)Reply
Thank you viteradiva1 for getting the group rate at the Embassy Suites. A great deal and option for those who haven't already booked a room. I booked a room at the $95 rate by going here...
embassysuites.hilton.com/en/es/hotels/index.jhtml?moreDesc=true&ctyhocn=DFWSHESand then putting "CAF" in the group code box.Nice two room suites and has all the bells and whistles.. (free breakfast, free evening reception, free airport shuttle)Now I just need a ticket!!!

viteradiva1 Registered MemberPosts: 1(3/13/07 8:23 pm)Reply
Re: JULY 7 - NOKIA THEATRE - DALLAS, TX (Grand Prairie)
A bunch of us flying in are staying at the Wyndham. They have free airport shuttle and they are working on a group rate for us. I also heard that the AmeriSuites may be under construction. They are converting to a Hyatt Place. Just so excited to see everyone! Any word on a preparty?

So guess what happened? OFC had this date posted even though it was never actually confirmed. There is no show at the Nokia Theatre in Dallas. Why was this ever even posted at OFC? Clay SAID "if you see it at OFC, you can believe it". Claymates who bought non-refundable airline tickets are upset and some are FINALLY looking to OFC and Clay Aiken for accountability.

ImAllEars Registered MemberPosts: 2910(4/9/07 7:25 pm)Reply ezSupporter
Re: Nokia information just in
Well, I'm one of many who have already booked their airline tickets and have my Houston ticket in hand for that concert. It saddens me to think we have NOBODY and NO PLACE that we can trust. We were advised if things were on OFC, we could put faith in that being the truth....well now we are finding out that just isn't so. You may not blame Clay Aiken, but I've always been told the buck stops at the top....he is the top. He is the final say. These people work for HIM. It is HIS fan club that still has Nokia up under tours and anyone who signs in will still think it is a valid concert.If clarification and corrections need to be made, why hasn't it been done? You can say I'm more than just a little upset about this. Somebody has no respect for his fans or their bank accounts from the looks of this.I was very much looking forward to this tour and now....not so much. Anyway you look at this it is going to cost me a lot of money, that could have been spent on additional concerts, to get myself home. It really doesn't help me to know I'm not alone in this. In fact, it saddens me more, because other people shelling out additional money to change their airline tickets for absolutely no good reason other than team Clay changed their minds, seems to be a huge waste of money....money that could have gone to BAF or some other very worthy cause.The Summer of Clay '07 is not getting off to a good start at all.

jaysue Registered MemberPosts: 424(4/9/07 8:08 pm)Reply
Re: Nokia information just in
You may not blame Clay Aiken, but I've always been told the buck stops at the top....he is the top. He is the final say. These people work for HIM. It is HIS fan club that still has Nokia up under tours and anyone who signs in will still think it is a valid concert.
Barb - you are right. I'm upset too. Airline tickets have been purchased with money that has been saved up waiting for this tour. Now flights will have to be cancelled or changed. Why are we paying dues to a fan club that can't get their act together? And sorry folks, but this time I too blame the man at the top. He's got some 'splaining to do.

jtgranny ISY....OOPS no I didn'tPosts: 10283(4/9/07 8:18 pm)Reply ezSupporter
Re: Nokia information just in
There is a lesson to be learned from this, albeit a painful one. Do not purchase plane tickets until you have the concert tickets firmly in hand.
I'm trying really hard not to loose it but this statement keeps coming up in more and more posts. When you have been told time and time again that NOTHING is for sure unless IT IS POSTED ON THE OFC. It's hard to take when they then change it on you. Most people that I know of waited and waited to get all the information.Location: Dallas/NokiaDate: July 7th, 2007The above was posted on the OFC!!!Location: Dallas/NokiaDate: July 7th, 2007The above was posted in a "Upcoming Events Newletter" emailed out from NOKIAWho: Clay AikenLocation: Dallas/NokiaDate: July 7th, 2007On sale date: July 14th, 2007The above was posted on TicketmasterConcerts Tickets > Adult Contemporary Tickets > Clay Aiken Tickets > Clay Aiken Tickets at NOKIA live at Grand Prairie . . . > Clay AikenSat, Jul 07 TBDNOKIA live at Grand Prairie - Grand Prairie, TX Read Reviews Save $100 On Clay Aiken Tickets Print This Page Email This Page Newsletter Signup Add to Favorites Add to Outlook Ticket FinderSelect # of Tickets: Select Price Range: $15$385$15$38544 tickets available from $15 to $385 each. Click here to compare 'd ticketsClick here to view all tickets () Show recommended first SectionRowPrice (ea)Tickets NeededCLUBNotesPASS$152019181716151413121110987654321CLUB/SUITE PASSES--NOT A CONCERT TICKET206NotesNN$19542COMPARABLE, OR BETTER206NotesKK$22042COMPARABLE, OR BETTER105NotesN$29042COMPARABLE, OR BETTER103NotesM$3852FLOOR--12 TH ROW CENTER103NotesL$38542FLOOR--11 TH ROW CENTER103NotesO$385642FLOOR--14 TH ROW CENTERParkingSectionRowPrice (ea)Tickets NeededVIPNotesPARKING$2510987654321UP CLOSE VIP PARKING--NOT A CONCERT TICKET This is posted on a Broker site. Note that the bolded TBD has just appeared since last week when Tulsa came on the scene.Sooooo I don't think anyone jumped the gun in buying plane tickets.
Edited by:
jtgranny at: 4/9/07 8:21 pm

Rainlover Aiken AficionadoPosts: 21004(4/9/07 8:49 pm)Reply ezSupporter
Re: Nokia information just in
Nokia is still listed at OFC.And a new Michigan date.

cindilu2 ilovehimandimeanit Posts: 5740(4/9/07 8:53 pm)Reply ezSupporter
Re: Nokia information just in
At the bottom it lists all of the tour dates listed so far, and Nokia was not one of them.
Actually, the email lists all the shows with ONSALE dates confirmed. The fan club main (public) page lists all the shows, and Dallas is still listed, along with a new Michigan date.Maybe, just maybe, it's the venue people who are wrong (wouldn't be the first time, especially after being inundated with fan phone calls and emails) and the OFC dates are still correct. Okay - that's weird. I SWEAR Nokia was on the OFC list five minutes ago, and now it's not. Wow. So bizarre.

ldb51 ClayjuvenatedPosts: 2303(4/9/07 9:17 pm)Reply ezSupporter
Re: Nokia information just in
Soooooo, what did everyone think about the long and apologetic explanation from Team Clay???????????What? No comments---------OH, excuse me-----they didn't give a long apologetic explanation!!!!!!!!!! my bad!!!

jtgranny ISY....OOPS no I didn'tPosts: 10286(4/9/07 9:17 pm)Reply ezSupporter
Re: Nokia information just in
My intention is not to pour salt on the very painful wounds that are obviously here tonight. It is to try to prevent future wounds. And once again I feel the need to defend Clay. We don't know what happened. Please wait to place blame until you know who was at fault. He doesn't deserve this.
I'm sure you did not intend to hurt anyone's feelings. It's just the comments about people waiting to get plane tickets is a bit much. If the information for Nokia had been listed only on Ticketmaster or Broker sites or Nokia....most probably would not have bought. The fact of the matter still is and will remain....it was posted on the OFC. I don't blame Clay for any of this, however he has said it time and time again...."if it's not posted then it's not true." "It's not Official until it's posted on the OFC" So I guess now we are not to believe what Clay says??? I'm sorry but it has to be one way or the other....right now as it stands it's a crap shoot as to whether or not you can believe anything posted on the OFC.And again, I've not put blame on anyone in particular and won't until we know who the blame belongs to. That however does not mean I have to be ok with this whole mess and can't state my mind.


Once again, incompetence at OFC has led to discord and arguing among the Claymates. I for one, love it just for the comedic value alone!
OFC members have already seen that they don't always get the merchandise they pay for, Clay's blogs may or may not be "real", I guess the last thing they thought they could count on OFC for was at least accurate Clay Aiken tour information.
They can't even count on that. What did they pay $29.95 plus shipping and handling for again?

OFC has not provided any kind of statement or guidance about what has occurred.

As is always true of both Clay Aiken AND his OFC, whenever there is a conflict or a situation that needs addressing, they have gone silent.

Maybe the Claymates should open their eyes and minds and entertain the truth that not everything Clay Aiken OR the OFC says can or should be believed.

Do Claymates REALLY Care About Autism?

Fans of Clay Aiken love to pride themselves on being a charitable lot.

They love to tout the "power" of "Claynation" to do good and then exclaim "look what love has done".

It would seem that for Claymates, love and charity only exist for them if it somehow benefits Clay Aiken, which would make them total hypocrites. Love and charity in the true sense, springs from the heart without needing motivation.

During the "Six Degrees"fundraiser, Claymates were beside themselves using multiple pay-pal accounts and desperately trying to get anyone they knew to donate in hopes of raising money for a program (BAF) that promotes inclusion of all children. Were they really trying to raise money for the children and the cause or was it only about making Clay Aiken a "winner"?

There were pages and pages on the ClayBoard about this fundraiser with members urging each other to give and some even offered to donate for those who could not afford to. That would "appear" to be "charitable", wouldn't it?

Why then, when the midnight hour came and the drive for matching funds was over, did all talk of donations stop? At midnight, did the people on CB all turn into pumpkins or did they just stop caring about the children at that point? More likely it was never about the children in the first place. It was all about Clay Aiken for them. It always is.

If Clay Aiken rips a fart in Memphis, there will be a 38 page thread about it on CB discussing whether it smelled like lilacs or gardenias, yet yesterday, a thread was started about an autism site, a cause supposedly close to the hearts of Claymates where there was a link to a video and for each time the video is viewed, money will be donated to "Autism Speaks", a reputable and respected charity for autism.

The link to the thread will be posted below and you will see what kind of outpouring came from the Claymates to it.


The link to the video site will also be posted below and I hope that everyone who reads and posts here will click on it and help raise money for research that can help autism be better understood.


Monday, April 9, 2007

A Claymate on Charity and Humanitarianism. Dissected.

A post from a disgruntled Claymate complaining about the "Idols Give Back" event sponsored by American Idol, left me literally speechless and at the same time very angry. Many of you may have read her diatribe therefore I won’t post it again, but will touch on a few of her comments.

Everything that was written is appalling in my view, but this particular statement left me totally befuddled. "…but I have no intention of buying the video or calling in a pledge. Clay fans can make donations to UNICEF directly or to the BAF or other charities without needing to go through the Idol organization." WTF? She posted that on Easter Sunday? WOW! So basically she’s TELLING the mats how and what to do about their donations. And the reason behind it has NOTHING to do with the charitable action itself, but based on her disgruntled attitude toward the AI organization because her favorite singer was not invited????? As I asked on my post, why the hell (not exactly the term I used) do they make everything about the Faiken? Who died and made him ruler of the entertainment world?

She continues, "…the extravaganza strikes me as focused too much on building up AI and other aspects of Simon Cowell's business interests". Okay, maybe she should have written, "I’m asking you to do this because I want to focus a lot on building up Clay Aiken and other aspects of our selfish interests". That would have been more accurate for the reason behind it Claymat!

"Maybe if Kelly weren't appearing, I could just write it off as their wanting to incorporate some non-Idol big name stars", Hummmm DUH!
Listen idiot, as much as you hate to hear it, Kelly IS a big name star thus the reason she WAS invited (Stings doesn’t it?).

Now this one takes the cake (at least for me) "…But with a former Idol star featured -- not the one most associated with humanitarian work or UNICEF". HUH????? This statement brought me to the "humanitarian" label which they love to stamp on his chest. Can anyone tell me how TF is he a humanitarian? Last time I check its definition reads:

humanitarian-1. A person who seeks to promote human welfare; a person who advocates or practices humane action; a philanthropist; 2. Of or relating to human welfare. (Oxford dictionary, 1997). We also need to look at the word philanthropist and its definition is stated as someone who devotes his/her time, money, or effort towards helping others. The label is most often applied to someone who gives large amounts to charity (Wikipedia).

Just by the definitions, the Faiken is disqualified as he is neither a humanitarian nor a philanthropist. I don’t think traveling to Banda Aceh or Uganda as a requirement of his "Ambassador" duties qualifies him as neither. Sure, he traveled to the locations and it was a great photo op moment, but what has he done to effect change in those countries? How much of his money has he given away in large amounts? What time has he devoted to humanitarian causes on HIS OWN?

You may ask, "But what can they do as ambassadors?" The UNICEF site states
"They can make direct representations to those with the power to effect change. They can use their talents and fame to fundraise and advocate for children and support UNICEF’s mission to ensure every child’s right to health, education, equality and protection.http://www.unicef.org/people/people_ambassadors.html

I ask Clay, What have you done for them lately? Talk is cheap Clay, but yours is waaaaay cheaper than anyone else’s.

To the mats, you really need to let go off AI 2003. If you had done that after the AI finale who knows, maybe Faiken would have had a better chance at a longer and REALLY successful career. You have been and will always be his worse enemy and you can blame NO ONE but yourselves for his downfall. Posts like the one broken down here only gives credence to the CULTIST Group label you have rightfully earned and which is clearly noticed by everyone outside your box.
Get a hobby other than being Faiken’s Vigilantes.
Go back to needlepoint, scrap booking, gardening or knitting. It’ll be less exhausting mentally than fighting invisible demons that you see attacking your leader at every corner.
Would you, please?
This blog has been brought to you by ZYBAN

Sunday, April 8, 2007

Have a FABULOUS Easter, Everyone!

Saturday, April 7, 2007

Some Holiday Smiles

Hoping everyone is enjoying the Holiday Weekend!

Monday, April 2, 2007

Clay Aiken: Is This How A 28 Year Old Man Behaves?

Here is Clay Aiken shown during part of the auction at his charity gala this weekend.

He is shown pouting, frolicking, making baby faces, making licking motions with his tongue and generally coming across as begging and being a pathetic asshole.

From the reports of those who attended the event, it sounds as though the antics only grew more obnoxious and juvenile.

This is no way for anyone to act at what is supposed to be a respectful and respectable event. Not when they are the center of attention.
Not when they are an adult.

There are men 10 years younger than Clay who are serving in the military today and they are far more mature and respectful than Clay Aiken seems capable of being.

Any speculation about Clay's sexual orientation aside, will he ever be a man?

Being a man has nothing to do with sexual orientation.

It is about character. It is about maturity. It's about integrity.

Will Clay Aiken ever be a man?

Clay Aiken : Fun With His New Beard!

Not to be outdone by Sanjaya Malakar, Clay Aiken is sporting a new look these days.
Clay has sprouted a pony-hawk on his chin and is apparently trying to grow in a ratty mustache.
The beard is probably to conceal Clay's recent weight gain in the face; could the mustache be an attempt to hide stretch marks?
We'll probably never know.
Special thanks to Pugmill for the hilarious images!
My favorite is the top one with his arms crossed. Cracks me up each time I look at it! :)

Sunday, April 1, 2007

Shaggy Clay Aiken Shows Off His New Cock Ring

Clay Aiken shows off his new cock ring before auctioning it off at "The Gala" last night. ;)

And with his ratty new facial hair, Clay's transformation into "Shaggy" from Scooby Doo, looks just about complete!

VFTW Reviews Clay Aiken's "Measure Of A Man"

Here is a review of "Measure of a Man" by the guys at VFTW.com.
I'm sure that the Claymates will appreciate their "snarky" sense of humor. ;)


Welcome back to my brand-new masochism experiment, Grading the Idols’ Albums.

This week I’m here with Dean Kyle, but sadly Master Freech left the country to avoid doing another CD review. (Just kidding, he’s on vacation in Florida.)

Professor Chan: Today’s album is Clay Aiken’s debut CD “Measure of a Man.”

Kyle: I thought we were going to do the Idol winners’ albums first.

Professor Chan: I did say that, but we’re going to review whatever albums I can find cheap in the stores. And don’t pretend you didn’t request Clay Aiken’s album next.

Kyle: (sheepishly) To make fun of. I’m a little embarrassed to say that I knew the title of this album before we got started. I’m not sure how I feel about that.

Professor Chan: You can’t imagine how embarrassed I was when I actually went to purchase the damn thing. I got this and Daughtry at the same time, and I was nervous the tattooed, pink-haired female clerk would give me a “what a loser” look. That’s why I also bought Iron Maiden’s latest album, so I could salvage some manliness after paying for this CD.

Kyle: Man, what is it with record-selling clerks that have that air of musical superiority?

Professor Chan: Forget Napster, THAT is why all record stores went out of business. I even had a back-up story in case they quizzed me about why I was paying hard-earned cash for Aiken. “It’s for a bachelor’s party.” I’ll probably have to use that one when I try to return it for a refund.

Kyle: What, you’re not keeping the Aiken?Measure of a Man – Clay Aiken.

Professor Chan: Today we’ll be examining Aiken’s album track by track. The theme of this album is “I’m a stalker.” So we’ll also check out the Stalker imagery in all of his songs.………

TITLE: Measure of a Man Best Song:

If you had a gun aimed at us… “Invisible.”

Genre: Clay Aiken is his own genre. Or guys with girlish high voices who sing wussy ballads

Picture on fold-up fan poster: Pensive but bemused Aiken in denim jacket.

First Person or Entity thanked on the album: “First off I’d like to thank all my stalker homies…” Just kidding. Clay thanks “God, The Alpha.”

Of course.

Theme: First half of the album is “I’m a stalker.” Second half is “I’m singing heartbreak songs about girls. Seriously. I’m talking about girls. I even say “she” in the songs.

”TITLE: 1. Invisible

SAMPLE STALKER LYRIC: “If I was invisible, Then I could just watch you in your room. If I was invisible, I’d make you mine tonight.”

Professor Chan: That is all you need to know about this album.

Kyle: The entire song is kind of an ode to stalkers everywhere.

Professor Chan: And how their life would be so much easier if they could have the power of invisibility.

Kyle: I personally would like super strength. Or stretching.

Professor Chan: You know, it’s sad to admit that this song is better than anything on Taylor Hicks album.

Kyle: It’s sad to admit that I’ve heard this song before.

Professor Chan: At least on this song Clay shows off that he can sing.

Kyle: He blows Taylor’s four note range out of the water. I’m not saying this is a good song, but I’d listen to it again before I’d check out any of Taylor’s weak-ass songs.

Professor Chan: That makes me weep. Like Taylor does all over his wussified album.

TITLE: 2. I Will Carry You

SAMPLE STALKER LYRIC: “I will carry your lifeless body back to my basement dungeon.” Okay, just kidding. “Everybody cries, Everybody Bleeds, No one ever said life’s an easy thing.”

Kyle: Dude, your fake lyric is scarier than the real one.

Professor Chan: I know. The only trouble I had was deciding which awesome stalker lyric to quote. How about this one: “Yeah I know it hurts, Yeah I know you’re scared, walking down the road that leads to who knows where.”

Kyle: That’s bone-chilling.

Professor Chan: “That turns my whole body into one giant goose bump”, to quote Paula Abdul.

Kyle: This song makes me feel like someone just got killed on “One Tree Hill.”

Professor Chan: What’s worse, I’d STILL listen to either of these songs before I played Taylor Hicks’ crappy album.

Kyle: Clay can sing, but this is like the soundtrack of “To Catch A Predator.”

TITLE: 3. The Way

SAMPLE STALKER LYRIC: "There’s something bout how you stay on my mind, there’s something bout the way that I whisper your name when I'm asleep.

PROFESSOR CHAN: Hoo, creepy.

KYLE: This sounds like a tired, post-Bobby Brown, Whitney.

PROFESSOR CHAN: This is the first certifiable dog on the album. The other two songs were okay, in their own Clay Aiken style, but this one's excruciating.

KYLE: This song is hurting my brain.

PROFESSOR CHAN: The good thing about Clay Aiken is after we hear the exact same verse-chorus twice we know where the song is going. I mean, it goes there 3-4 more times, but it's the exact same way that it goes there each time. Unlike Taylor's album where there was hidden crappiness to be found at the end of some tracks, we know exactly how crappy it's going to be for the next 3 minutes with Aiken.

(As we skip to the next song)

TITLE: 4. When You Say You Love Me.

SAMPLE STALKER LYRIC: "I've been watching you, from afar and the way you make your way around the bar."

PROFESSOR CHAN: The lyrics to this one are verging on non-stalker territory. He seems to be having normal human interactions with the gender neutral "you" of this song.

KYLE: Yeah, but you have to imagine Clay saying it in his Norman Bates/Mickey Mouse voice with nervous laughter at inappropriate places.

PROFESSOR CHAN: These Casio keyboard synth sounds are bugging me. Is this an Emerson, Lake and Palmer song?

KYLE: Yeah, you can tell the keyboardist is wearing a cape. This song sounds like Christian Rock to me, but much manlier.

TITLE: 5. No More Sad Songs

SAMPLE STALKER LYRIC: "No more sad songs, I'm letting you go now, Switched off switched on, I'm letting you know, you turned out the light."

PROFESSOR CHAN: We might have to put that "stalker theme" to rest now. This has moved away from watching "you" undress through your bedroom window into a really whiny emancipation song.

KYLE: Maybe he's calling her on the phone in a really breathy tone saying he can still see her even though her lights are off. Clay's got infra-red goggles.

PROFESSER CHAN: Even Clay's breaking up songs are a chaste kind of love. He's breaking up with her but he says "I used to have the longing to hear what was in your heart, But now it seems I’m over the fear of this falling apart."

KYLE: Ooh, dissed by the Aiken. I can imagine him curled up in his Backstreet Boyz pajamas having a good cry about his "relationship."

PROFESSOR CHAN: But if he breaks up with her who will he have to hold hands with and share milk-shakes?

KYLE: BFF no mo'.

TITLE: 6. Run to Me

SAMPLE STALKER LYRICS: "Hush, you don't have to say a word, Trust I'm not going to hate you for it, Feels like my touch only brings back the pain, Someday those memories will fade away"

PROFESSOR CHAN: Whew, we're back on firm stalker ground again. I was worried for a second.

KYLE: This kind of sounds like Aiken's "It's Raining Men."

PROFESSOR CHAN: Yeah, definitely "Raining Men" influenced in the melody line.

KYLE: (reads lyrics) "As soon as you get that feeling, run to me." What "Feeling" is he talking about exactly? Why is Clay always so vague and coy with his words and emotions? He's toying with us.

PROFESSOR CHAN: This song has interesting chord changes and Aiken is singing fine, but otherwise it's musical Insominex.

KYLE: Yeah, next time I need some z's, I'll turn to "Run to Me."

TITLE: 7. Shine

SAMPLE STALKER LYRICS: "In the mirror of your soul. I know that you know, you are not forsaken. Hey butterfly open up your weary eyes, and realize it's a trip we're taking."

PROFESSOR CHAN: Such terrible lyrics. What the hell is Aiken talking about? It's all mixed metaphors and painful cliché’s.

KYLE: I hate synthetic drums. This was definitely a cost-effective album. It's just Clay, his stuffed animals and his drum machine in the recording studio.

PROFESSOR CHAN: I'll let the lyrics speak for themselves on this one.http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/clayaiken/shine.html

TITLE: 8. I Survived You

SAMPLE STALKER LYRICS: "I see the picture clear now, the fog has lifted. The wool you tried to pull over my eyes was clever. Yeah you're gifted."

KYLE: I don't know if I can survive the rest of this album. I'm slowly dying... Lyrics... so trite and hackneyed.

PROFESSOR CHAN: Stay with me, Kyle. No man is left behind. Hey, Butterfly, open up your weary eyes.

KYLE: Which telenovela is this the theme song for? I bet it's "Amor Sin Limites."

PROFESSOR CHAN: I think Clay is trying to set the record for mirror metaphors on this album.

KYLE: (skips the rest of song) Sorry, I couldn't take it any more.

TITLE: 9. Solitaire

SAMPLE LYRICS: "And keeping to himself he plays the game, Without her love it always ends the same, While life goes on around him everywhere, He’s playing Solitaire"

KYLE: Ugh, again with the electronica shit.

PROFESSOR CHAN: Seriously, though. This album was recorded in 2003. Get some decent patches for your synths, dude.

KYLE: This guy makes John Tesh look edgy.

PROFESSOR CHAN: This song defines "Easy Listening." It requires no effort to listen to it. There's no energy spent on paying attention, or giving a damn. It's pop music white noise. So calming.

KYLE: It's like I just took an Ambien. I feel like I should call my grandmother and tell her I love her.

PROFESSOR CHAN: I've come to the conclusion that Clay isn't singing in metaphors. He means everything literally. Like when he's looking in a mirror, he's actually looking in a mirror. And when he's singing about the fog lifting, he's really talking about running through the fog.

KYLE: And he's really watching you sleep through your bedroom window. He actually is out there, in the bushes.

PROFESSOR CHAN: This should be called The Prozac album. Or "Songs for the Old Folks Home." It's so warm and fuzzy.

KYLE: Ooh, glory note. So that's the end of the album, right?

PROFESSOR CHAN: Nope. There's three more songs.

KYLE: We've got three more? Three more f'ing songs?!?! I feel like we've been listening to this for seven hours

PROFESSOR CHAN: Come on, we got to push on. We're doing this for the orphans, remember?

KYLE: What orphans?

TITLE: 10. Perfect Day

SAMPLE LYRICS: "I was fading last night, lost out in the cold, Couldn't see the light then she opened up the door, I came in from the dark, fell into her arms just in time."

PROFESSOR CHAN: It's like love metaphors 101.

KYLE: Damn, man. These synths are terrible. And they're all over the place. It's like they spent all their money on tracks 1 and 2, and then had to nickel and dime the rest of the stupid album.

PROFESSOR CHAN: Ooh, 80's synth flutes and electro drums, oh, how I love you. (skips song)

TITLE: 11. Measure of a Man

SAMPLE LYRIC: "Would he stand before you, When it's down to the wire, Would he give his life up to be all he can, Is that, is that, is that how you measure a man?"

KYLE: Hey, is Hurricane Katrina still taking donations?

PROFESSOR CHAN: It does have that starving kids commercial feel to it, doesn't it? This is clearly supposed to be Clay's big anthem.

KYLE: I've heard this song before.

PROFESSOR CHAN: Yeah, me too. It was called "Perfect Day" track 10. It's the same exact song.

KYLE: No, I mean, I heard this on the radio, or in an elevator or something.

PROFESSOR CHAN: No, really. It's the same song. Let me play it back.

KYLE: No, man. It's okay, I trust you.

PROFESSOR CHAN: No. I'm gonna do it. (Chan plays "Perfect Day." He skips back to "Measure of a Man.") See, they're identical. The question I have for Clay is, how do you measure a man?

KYLE: I don't know, thumb and forefinger?

PROFESSOR CHAN: I guess the follow-up question is, did Clay intentionally have a penis joke for an album title, or was he innocently oblivious?

KYLE: This song may be long and boring, but it still has more soul than the entire Taylor Hicks album.

PROFESSOR CHAN: Oh, dude, that's just kicking a man in his measure.

TITLE: 12. Touch

SAMPLE LYRICS: "All I want is your touch, all I want is your heaven right here by my side, every night. All I want is your touch, all I want is your tenderness here in my life, every morning and night. Girl cause your touch is so right."

KYLE: Enough with the electronic keyboard bullshit. I'm tired of this crap.

PROFESSOR CHAN: Revenge of the Synth tracks. This one's using the pre-programmed Latin rhythm on the keyboard.

KYLE: This sounds like a gay dance club track. But then it's also an uplifting Christian love-your-neighbor song. It's schizophrenic.

PROFESSOR CHAN: He walks that fine line between gay and Christian.

KYLE: I think he's singing this song to his gardener.(Professor chan hits Eject!)

PROFESSOR CHAN: Okay, that's enough Aiken for one day.

KYLE: That's enough Aiken for a lifetime.

PROFESSOR CHAN: Whoa, hold it. I paid good hard cash for Clay's new album. So we're gonna damn well listen to it. But I need to recover from this one first.

KYLE: Ugh, I'm feeling nauseous.


PROFESSOR CHAN: Well that was pretty awful.

KYLE: Man, after the first two songs I thought it was going to be a cakewalk. They were kind of peppy and not horrible. But it really fell off a cliff after that.

PROFESSOR CHAN: Yeah, right when "Wacky" Willy Gabowski and his Amazing Casio Orchestra showed up, it turned ugly real fast.

KYLE: There must've been a lot of disappointed teenagers on Christmas morning that year.

PROFESSOR CHAN: Why don't they just give me their $12 bucks and I'll hurl a lump of coal upside their head.

KYLE: Yeah, that's got more entertainment value.

PROFESSOR CHAN: Oh, hey, that reminds me. I can probably get my hands on Aiken's Christmas album, if you want to review that one some time.

KYLE: As long as it's not a Taylor Hicks Christmas album, I'm game.”