Thursday, December 28, 2006


Clay Aiken Is A Giant Shitburger (Who Hates Children)
Thursday, December 28, 2006

I don't know if Clay Aiken is gay or not (!), but I do know one thing about him for sure - he's a giant mouthful of super-sized extra-cheese slathered-in-secret-sauce shitburger.What Crabbie? Clay Aiken? America's not-gay sweetheart?

How can you say something like that about our little Claykins?

A man who brings so much joy and sexual ambiguity into the world?

Well, I'm sorry to disillusion you Clayheads, but it's true - your American Idol (runner-up) is nothing but a prick.

He promises to make little children's dreams come true, then smashes them like Rosie O'Donnell falling on a coffee table.

Just ask Joshua Willard, the pubescent winner of a singing competition whose prize was to perform with Aiken at his Holiday concert. Willard, supposedly because he intended singing Stevie Wonder's Superstition instead of a holiday song, was told by Aiken's people that he wouldn't be allowed to go on. And it turns out that Willard wasn't the only disappointed youngster at the concert, as several other scheduled performers had their hopes dashed at the last minute.

Of course, Aiken's slimy reps tried glossing over the whole fiasco by saying the kids were never promised they could perform with Clay.So Clay Aiken thinks he's too good to be seen on-stage with a bunch of nobodies.

Apparently Mr. Snootiepants forgets that, not long ago, he was the nobody, who would've been lucky to get work mopping floors at Costco. And as for Aiken's reps saying they never promised the kids they could sing: How come Joshua Willard was allowed to rehearse his Steve Wonder number before being told his performance was cancelled? Obviously, somebody thought the kid was going to be going on. And if that wasn't the case, then he should've been told beforehand, not after getting his number all ready.

Shame on you, handlers of Clay Aiken. And shame on you Clay Aiken for turning into yet another phony, fancy-pants celebrity who thinks his shit doesn't smell.

Oh, and speaking of shit and other things ass-related - did you know Clay Aiken has a childish fascination with flatulence? That's another report coming out of the Holiday concert - that Clay, during soundcheck, would pretend he had cut one every time some feedback came out of the speakers.

Real classy Clay. You fart-faking, kid-trashing, closet-living feces-patty.
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